I've Made It To the Beginning

I've wrote the end of the screenplay. Yikes. That was extremely difficult. Which, I guess, was the point. I don't like writing the endings and usually give up or just write them halfheartedly.

Now I've got the beginning (and the rest of the story) ahead of me. Ugh. I might have to do this a bit differently next time. Maybe alternate scenes. One scene from the end, one scene from the beginning, then one scene from the middle. That seems way more complicated, but maybe much more rewarding.

I'm all about my comforts. Because this right here...this was punishing.

Gender Equality in Writing

When I think of gender equality in writing, I'm not thinking about sex politics. Or how many characters of each gender should be in a story. Or power dynamics relating to gender in a relationship. I'm simply referring to how I approach characters of a gender in my writing. Too often when I read stories or scripts, one group or another gets the short stick.

I don't like seeing agendas. Oh, this is feminist. This is rhetoric about transgender and on and on. I didn't come to your fictional piece to be preached at. Write an essay (or blog post) for that.

Having one group of people in a story be uniformly negative is usually a giveaway of a prejudice for me--whether sexist, racist, nationalist, ageist, or whatever. Just don't do it. Make each character an individual that stands by his or her own merits, not by the inclusion or exclusion of a group or social status.

You have a character who is a woman? Will she automatically be the one is hurt or rescued? The victim? Will she be the least developed character? Oh, I'm a guy--I don't know so much about girls so I'm not going to bother...blah, blah, blah.

I've seen the same thing with male characters. All the guys are all negative or barely developed. Hey, let's make all the men abusers! Psychopaths... Mindless killing machines who are driven by sex and money. Well, I know plenty of guys like that. This one time, this guy blah, blah, blah...

Yeesh.

What if you don't know you're doing this? Take a piece of current writing--any piece--and change every single character's gender identity. Do the character choices become strange now? Do you find some characters to be bland or weak now? Do you think some characters are detestable now?

Becoming aware of biases is a nice first step. Yet we'll all have this in our writing to some degree even if we are aware of it. It's just a matter of being in control of it and knowing how to subvert it and use it to maybe connect to people surprising ways.

When to Stand Firm and When to Let Go

There's an element of my story that many people in one of my writing groups are pretty consistently not liking. Well, it's not a 'not like' sort of thing. It's more of a don't understand. Their suggestion is to change it and make it more conventional and expected and just like it's always been done. 

Yet what's the point in that?

None of them give me solid reasons why changing it would benefit my story. They say that . And I got a 'if you keep it this way, then maybe your outstanding writing would save it.'  Huh? Shouldn't my writing be top notch no matter what? Moreover, no matter what state my writing is in, I doubt that it would win over that particular person. I made a mental note to not trust that person's words. I don't waste my time on close-minded people. The rest will see what I'm going for when they see the first pages.

How do I know when I'm wrong, and everyone's right? Or when I'm right and everyone's wrong? I know in most cases that the majority rules, and I bend to that. 

However, in this case, this doesn't feel right. Why should I change something to fit someone else's experiences when they go against mine? Even when that hurts the story. I thought I was writing what I know? 

When You Don't Know the Story

I'm developing a story that I'll be writing in April. I have no idea what it will ultimately be about. That's truly scary. Usually, I will have thought months about it in my head and worked out some scenes and characters. I don't have any characters in mind or what will happen or how this will play out.

It will all be completely made up as I go along. The development stage has been going along slowly; I've been working more on my script than this novella. Where do I start with this? Do I plot it out? Try to get a character in my head? Piece out a scene? Come up with a compelling conflict? I generally know the end, but that hasn't propelled the story into my mind as it usually does.

I wonder if that means the idea is D.O.A.

Writing Personal Fiction

I am in the midst of not writing two short stories right now. The characters and their longings whisper in my ears every day, and I turn away from them. Every other thought turns back. Why am I fighting against writing this?

Because these stories are mine, much too much of me. My deepest fears spilled in black on a blank white page. Maybe I'm not ready yet to confront them, no matter how they haunt me and demand that I investigate their depths.

However, I've slowly been writing one story--a fear that grows stronger every day about my future. Something that looms in my mind. Something that I know writing will make clearer and more real, rather than reveal to be an apparition.

How do I face real fears?

Breakdown of Random TV Shows: Dads Part 3 [Spoiler-heavy]

Introduction
Part 1
Part 2

My husband (I somehow roped him in) and I are breaking down the Dads episode "Funny Girl." This show is about two sons who live with their respective fathers. It takes place at their homes and at the sons' company which seems to develop video games.

Disclaimer: I'm not a fan of this show, and I don't hide that. However, that doesn't mean that I think that this show is irredeemable or that I can't learn something about television writing from it or anything like that. I don't like it--it's as simple as that. This may be entirely about my personal preferences rather than objective standards about what is good or not. Consequently, what follows is my opinion...I hope that's obvious.

I'm trying to approach this as a television viewer who just happened to tune in so I didn't look up actor's names or anything like that.

Plot: [Spoilers]

The way the main story progressed wasn't very logical. First, Eli's trying to be intimate with his date without his father around. Next thing you know, he's locked in a argument about whether his father is right about another date's annoying tendencies. Two stories have been stuck together here.

This reminded me of animated shows like The Simpsons or Family Guy. The first act rarely had anything to do with what came after and was just an excuse to waste time with random jokes before they got to the actual plot.

That doesn't work here. I'm being asked to genuinely care about the plight of these characters. How can I do that if what's happening in the story doesn't actually matter? If there's no cause/effect relationship, then the characters' actions don't really mean anything. If that's the case, then why would I stay engaged in the story? I'm not able to follow along and participate and anticipate what will happen.

Also, at some points, the characters just kind of act and react without rhyme or reason, just because the plot says that a particular thing needed to happen. For instance, Eli bemoans the fact that he'll never get to have enough privacy in his apartment to have sex. Veronica, out of nowhere, announces that that's too bad because her friend has just broke up with her girlfriend. Why would she offer up a friend (without asking the friend first) to someone she doesn't seem to think much of? Why would she do that when he seems to be just after sex? How does what he said prompt her to say what she said in the first place?

Another example: Eli is established in the beginning of the episode as caring more the sex part of a relationship. Yet later, he's acting as if the only thing keeping him from wanting a relationship with Ann is her bad comedy.

Okay, one more: Anne just agrees to move in with Eli because...well, that would make things more complicated, you know?

I struggled trying to figure out the character's motives for what they did. Because of this, the events just didn't seem to connect as well as they should have.

Moreover, there were many times that the plot just stopped so that the characters could deliver a joke that didn't tie into the story at all. But, at least the story lines came together at the end there, right?

Here's the Plot Breakdown. I only focused on the story and left out the jokes or character work if it was irrelevant to the plot.:

Act	A Story	B Story
One	Scene 1 - Location: Eli's Home Eli and date are on his couch kissing. Moans are heard off screen, followed by David, Eli's dad, coming downstairs. David makes a big production about going to get his paper while Eli looks unhappy. Eli confronts Dad about always ruining his dates. The date overhears discussion about his many other dates and leaves.
		Scene 2 - Location: Work Assistant Veronica asks Warner about replacing the business person  voice on Wall Street game.
	Location: Work Eli comes in looking sad; Warner knows what likely happened. Eli mentions that the presence of his dad means that he'll never have sex in his own place. Veronica mentions her friend who's newly single because she's always doing tired bits and got dumped.
	Scene 3 - Location: Eli's Home Eli arrives and announces to David his father that the father will have plans out of the apartment because Eli has a date. David offers advice but Eli rejects it, stating that his father is never right and knows nothing about women. Eli pays David off so that his date won't be interrupted.
		Scene 4 - Location: Warner's home Warner comes home and wife asks him about work Warner tells her about needing a person who can do a business man voice to make progress on his game. His father Crawford comes in talking business which is revealed to be about mint-flavored Girl Scout cookies. His wife insists that Crawford can do the voice for Warner Warner doesn't approve but gives in, and his father agrees to do it.
	Scene 5 - Location: Eli's Home Eli arrives with Date Ann. David is still home, but Eli reminds him to leave. Eli introduces date to David. Ann makes a terrible joke to which David reacts with silent anger. David decides to say home instead. [Commercial Break]
Two	Scene 6 - Location: Eli's home Eli enters from his bedroom, and Edna his maid asks how he slept. Eli: Alone Eli asks his father why he didn't leave. David retorts that he saved Eli and that being in a relationship with someone like Ann will end in Eli's death
		Scene 7 - Location: Work Crawford is preparing himself in the recording booth, which annoys Warner.
	Location: Work Meanwhile, Eli and Veronica are watching Warner work with Crawford. Eli talks about his father's interference and gives an excuse why he couldn't take his dates elsewhere.
	Scene 8 - Location: Anne's Apartment Anne's making bad jokes as she and Eli walk in. Eli assures her of how funny she is, but also says she can be herself without joking all the time. She thanks him and they kiss, but she interrupts the intimate moment with another set of jokes.
		Scene 9 - Location: Work In the recording studio, Crawford is speaking stereotypical businessman-type lines. Crawford notices that the business people sound like they're the bad guys. Warner mentions that the object of the game is to kill the business people in horrible ways. Crawford objects out of principle and locks himself in the booth.
	Scene 10 - Location: Eli's home David asks about Eli's date as Eli walks in. Eli pretends it was good even though he didn't stay overnight. David guesses that Ann's bad jokes killed the romance. Eli insists that, on the contrary, they are getting serious. David baits Eli by suggesting that Ann should move in with them. Eli reluctantly takes the bait and calls Ann who is still doing her old routines. Ann agrees to move in.
	Location: Work Veronica clarifies that Anne is moving in. Eli admits that it got out of hand, but he still wants to win and prove his father wrong.
		Scene 11 - Location: Work Warner has been trying to force Crawford out of the recording booth with Democrat speeches. His wife shows up and brings in the Girl Scout with Warner's cookies and tells Crawford he has to honor his contract. Warner provokes his father by saying that all business people are liars. Crawford comes out to show that business people are good and honest. However, when he looks at the cookies, he sees they aren't the kind he ordered and refuses to pay. The Girl Scout backs Crawford in the booth and attacks him, with Warner recording the resulting things that Crawford yells out for his game.
	Scene 12 - Location: Eli's home Ann's things are all moved in. Ann is still doing bad bits. Edna the maid doesn't like her. Ann goes to unpack. David points out how bad the situation is. Anne comes out and makes another joke. Eli breaks down and pleads with his father for help.
Tag	Scene 13 - Location: Eli's home Eli and David carry an unconscious Ann who's dressed as a clown. David has hypnotized her. Eli admits that he should listen to his father every once in a while. They hug awkwardly while still carrying Ann.
		Scene 14 - Outside of elevator Warner and his wife carry a passed out Crawford to the elevator. Elevator opens to reveal Eli and David holding Ann. Warner and wife enter elevator with Crawford.

Next up: the jokes and funny business.

Breakdown of Random TV Shows: Dads Part 2

Introduction
Part 1

My husband (I somehow roped him in) and I are breaking down the Dads episode "Funny Girl." This show is about two sons who live with their respective fathers. It takes place at their homes and at the sons' company which seems to develop video games.

Disclaimer: I'm not a fan of this show, and I don't hide that. However, that doesn't mean that I think that this show is irredeemable or that I can't learn something about television writing from it or anything like that. I don't like it--it's as simple as that. This may be entirely about my personal preferences rather than objective standards about what is good or not. Consequently, what follows is my opinion...I hope that's obvious.

I'm trying to approach this as a television viewer who just happened to tune in so I didn't look up actor's names or anything like that.

Characters:

Overall, the characters are a bland bunch. Nothing much stands out about them other than the actor/actress playing them. I couldn't really say who they are at this point. I'd say that Crawford is the most defined character, and he's just a well worn stereotype.

The characters' personalities aren't set up to maximize conflict or friction. If two random characters end up in a room together, I couldn't tell you specifically what will start sparks between them. The only ones who bump heads are the sons with their respective fathers, and that could get repetitive later on.

The characterization may be different for other episodes, but here is what I see for "Funny Girl." In order of importance to this episode's plot...


Eli

• This guy seems to be the main character (at least for this episode), though he's  the least developed. His role is to get into contests of will with his father and be 'the single guy.'

Characteristics

• likes play over work
• casual clothes even at work
• many recreational items in his apartment
• focus on personal life rather than business at work (he doesn't actually do work in this episode)
• thinks of relationships as a means to get sex 
• has had many casual relationships
• spends time with a woman only so far as what he'll get out of her

Relationships

• towards father
• insulting, belligerant, and whiny
• doesn't think his father is or can be right
• wants to prove his father wrong no matter what
• towards Dude
• discloses personal information, though it was one-way this episode as Dude didn't confide in Eli
• intimate
• towards assistant
• playful, can be belittling
• has crush on her
• towards maid
• protective
• friendly

Dude

• This is Eli's friend. I don't know his name--no one ever said it in this episode. His role is to get frustrated when his father causes him trouble and be 'the married guy.'

Characteristics

• more professional
• dressier clothes
• focused on the job even at home (though I couldn't really tell you what he does, exactly. In this episode, he seems to be doing a job that would be outsourced or relegated to someone who specialized in voice over work)
• in a committed relationship
• he and his wife seem happy
• doesn't seem to like the fact that he has kids

Relationships

• towards Eli
• concerned
• involved
• intimate companionship
• towards father
• wary
• quick tempered and frustrated easily
• towards assistant
• trusting
• casual
• towards wife
• passive and yielding
• comfortable

David

• This is Eli's father. His role is to indirectly challenge his son and to be a more extreme flash forward to how Eli could turn out.

Characteristics

• blunt and indifferent
• will nose his way into his son's life if he feels it's needed
• takes advantage
• likes to eat

Relationships

• towards Eli
• offers advice
• skeptical
• towards maid
• aggravating
• intrigued but provokes her

Crawford

• This is Dude's father. His role is to show how a capitalistic, conservative stereotype causes problems and to be a more extreme flash forward to how Dude could be in the future.

Characteristics

• business minded in every situation, even when it's unnecessary
• oblivious to his own racial offenses
• takes things too far
• Republican, Wall Street type

Relationships

• towards Dude
• kind of casual but friendly when not in conflict
• towards Dude's wife
• friendly

Veronica

• She is Dude's assistant (because Eli doesn't do actually work, she only acts as the other one's employee). Her role is react to her bosses' antics and bring attention to work related problems. I actually didn't know her name until I glanced at the episode synopsis (I was avoiding doing that). 

Characteristics

• knows more about what's happening in the company than her bosses
• has a high tolerance for being around people she doesn't really like

Relationships

• towards Dude
• casual
• tells him what to do
• honest about what she doesn't like
• towards Eli
• condescending
• ignores/tolerates his antics
• towards Funny Girl
• doesn't like her [not seen directly interacting with her in this episode]

Edna

• This is Eli's maid/cook. Her role is to be comic relief, a pseudo mother figure, and someone who gets one over on Eli's father.

Characteristics

• happy, for the most part
• naive
• not good with speaking English
• deceptively old
• mysterious past

Relationships

• towards Eli
• does what he says
• towards Eli's father
• suffers his hindrances

Dude's wife

• This is Dude's wife. Her role is to play mediator between Dude and his father.

Characteristics

• proud, feisty Latina

Relationships

• towards Dude
• makes decisions for him
• towards Dude's father
• sympathetic

Funny Girl

• This is Veronica's 'friend' and then Eli's date. Her role is to be he plot device used to cause conflict in Eli's life when they date and he finds that she has to always be the unfunny clown.

Characteristics

• girl
• always makes unfunny jokes and does crappy bits

Relationships

• towards Eli
• an audience for her jokes and no more
• towards Eli's father
• indifferent to his grumpiness
• towards Veronica
• never interacts with her 'best friend'

All right. These are the main characters of this episode. The next part will focus on the story/plot.

Writing from the Doldroms

Writing when I'm emotionally all over the place is impractical on most of these occasions.  I'm being pulled in too many different directions (most of them down), and focusing on a story that takes good deal of concentration is a no-go.

My writing takes a back seat to the upheaval going on in my mind.

And it's not like I can use that as a channel to reflect what's going on with me in what I'm writing. I can barely get my fingers on the keyboard, or around a pen, to get a story down in the first place. I'm distracted with my attention wandering from worry to worry, from fear to fear.

I feel helpless during these periods, trying to get through but stuck in a thick funk. The more I fight, the more I sink and the losing battle just makes things worse. I'm currently climbing out a minor downswing and I think I'm learning to fend off the valleys a little bit better than in the past.

Things I turn to to keep my spirits up:

• Prayer
  I don't know why I don't pray more. Usually, praying stops my downward spiral in its tracks. I have to learn to let go of things that I really have no control over and give it all over to the One who has everything in His hands.
• Fasting and Meditation
  My body is a weak, decaying, faulty thing and I'd be a fool to depend on it or to think it won't fail me. Realizing that mood shifts are a part of my body's weaknesses helps me to put my situation into perspective. I will have low tides as well as high.
• Finding a purpose
  Not just long-term, "what do I want my life's meaning to be" purposes. But daily, moment-by-moment purpose. Why am I writing this? Why do I need to write this? Questions like these keep me focused, willing, and eager to write because if I have good answers then I know I'm not wasting my time on something trivial. At the end of it, I will have something worthwhile that I have accomplished, and that makes me feel more worthwhile.
• Keeping up the daily routine
  The temptation to just sleep it off or take a break is overwhelming. Sometimes it's necessary, but not as much as I'd like to think. I could stop exercising, eating right, cleaning, reading the Bible, or writing every day, but though I may feel a momentary reprieve, breaking the good habits I have set up just pushes me into a depression in the long run.
• Recommitting to my goals
  Sometimes I just want to throw it all away because of a temporary feeling that will eventually ease. When I am feeling bleak and pessimistic is definitely not the time to reconsider my goals, but to cling to them even more. Once I'm stable again, I'll be able to look over at what I set to see if I'm doing too much or too little or if I have made my goals tangible enough. 

I don't like being sad and moody for long periods of time, but I have to accept that sometimes it will happen. That doesn't mean that my life has to come to a standstill, and that realization has made these periods of my life that much more bearable.

Week of Jan 13, 2013: An Obvious Thing...

I Learned about Writing.

Those different kinds of plots (Request, Revenge, Supplication, etc.)? I can use them in small-scale situations as well as for the overall plot. I don't know why this didn't occur to me before. I can have, for example, a small act of revenge that covers just a subplot, a series of scenes, just one scene, or part of a scene. I'm always struggling to come up with plot complications, and they were right in front of me all along. I feel silly.