Dear Novel

Posted in the NaNo forums: Writing an honest letter to your novel can help during those days in November when you're full of doubt and want to give up. Just read it and remember why you began this crazy adventure:

Dearest Novel,

I can't believe that you're so close to coming into the world. It seemed just like yesterday you were only an idea to me, an abstraction. Now you're becoming more and more real, and I want to be a part of that reality.

But I'm scared.

Long hours of labor are nigh. It will be painful and exhausting, and well, there also will be relief because the time has come and soon it will be over. I've done this before, but my fear creeps up on me each time. What if something happens? What I dread most is losing you.

Novel, never think that I won't overcome that fear. For though I know that what's ahead will be difficult, I still look forward to having you here. You're worth it. You're worth the heartache and pain ahead. And whether your existence was part of the plan or a happy accident, I want you to be a part of my life.

I want to cry with you, laugh with you, go on a journey with you. There's so much about you I have to learn. Though joy will be in our time together, the experience will be a time of trial, too. And I'll be tempted to give up on you. But you've got to know one thing: I will not give up.

One day you'll be here in my very hands--a beautiful mess covered in my blood, sweat, and tears. Oh, how I look forward to that day.

I'll be with you until that bittersweet end, after I've raised you and nurtured you, and the time comes for you to leave me. That raising will be another period of labor, filled with its own ups and downs. One thought will haunt me: what if you're not good enough? What if no one loves you? However, I promise that I won't leave you half-formed. I will prepare you to go out into that scary world full of those who might hate you and spite you and abandon you without really knowing you.

You will be ready; I know your strength despite your many flaws. They are my flaws too, and I'll see more of myself in you the more you grow. We can overcome our weaknesses--never doubt that. Yet you will be strong, too. And I'll love you for that. In you, I find my own strength. Together, we'll bring out the best in us. I might want to keep you with me forever and protect you, but I know that with hard work you will be taught to stand on your own. I'll be fighting for you every step of the way. I have so much hope for you!

So, dear novel, I promise to give you all I got, and I won't let you down. I will not stop until you're whole and complete. I'm fully committed. I'm all in.

Love,

Your Author

Developing Characters: Occupations

I usually think up what my characters do for a living as the very last thing about them. What does work have to with who they are? And their occupation won't necessarily tie into the plot, like Indiana Jones'.

But of course, every choice a character has made reveals a piece of their personality. And a job can be added conflict and pressure on characters as they pursue goals.

I also like for occupations to reveal story themes and secret unfulfilled dreams that I would otherwise need to tell instead of show.

So how do I choose a character's occupation? By their circumstances and personality and history. Just like in real life. Also, what's interesting to portray factors in my decision. Lastly, I consider what will bring the most plot relevant conflict into a character's life.

Artists and architects may have fun careers, but they have been done in too many stories. Also, the typical artist as done a lot of stories work freelance out of their homes. There can be conflict in not having enough work or in meeting deadlines or having to balance life, but I feel a more dynamic conflict would involve interactions with other characters. Bosses, co-workers, clients constantly pressuring the character and reminding him or her of the stakes.

These are some of my considerations when choosing occupations for characters.

Description Mishaps

For the story I'm pretending to write this month, I've decided to do a prologue. Not sure why, other than just to practice doing one in case I might need to later.

Well, it seems to rely on a lot of description. In the first few pages, there are no characters, just an event that sets up and creates the catalyst for the entire story. It's kind of weird, kind of familiar, but I've had to write some paragraphs over and over again because I'd get to the middle of a sentence and get stuck. Then I'd realize that I began it wrong and start a different way.

I'd visualize something and then write a completely different description. Don't know why that happens, but it did. Frustrating is a understatement here.

Brainstorming for Two

I'm in the brainstorming process right now, and I'll be doing this with a partner. This doesn't usually go so well.

One person will usually have "control" of the idea process, which leaves the other person to develop an idea that doesn't feel "owned" by that person. Then every time "no" is said to a further addition or subtraction from the original idea will just feel like a power play to keep the idea from being equally both people's.

This leads to resentment and bitterness, blah, blah, blah.

So...I guess trust should be there from the beginning. Also, taking elements from both partners lists and putting them together would probably be beneficial, and create better ideas.

Anyways, I've just started, but I'm already nervous. I hope this goes well.

Need to Write Something

I haven't wrote anything in three days. I've been busy. Busy, busy, busy.

I don't regret it, though. I wouldn't have been able to write anything worthwhile if the things I needed to take care of still nagged at me. Yet I want to get back into the groove and wonder when that's going to happen. Tomorrow should be a thing, but I can't be too sure.

A Case of the Not-Good-Enoughs

Sometimes it's difficult for me to write, not because of writer's block. I could write if I ever started, I just get...insecure and discouraged. I feel that even if I hone my talents to the best that they could be that no one would want to read/view my work. There's always the possibility that I'm just not good enough.

Then there's the more horrible possibility that I'm decent enough, but life says I'm doomed to be ignored anyway and that my time to shine will be long after I'm dead.

That's a terrible thing for me because I write for people who live today and their current experiences. I'm not writing for my legacy or for future people. This is blasphemy, but I don't care if my work doesn't live on if people right now get as much enjoyment as they can out of it.

This has nothing to do with how 'intelligent' my work is. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the ability of my work to resonate with contemporary people. Those who live and dream and cry and work and fight and love and laugh today. That's who I want to reach.

Yet what if I can't.

Learning from My Peers

I'm trying to give feedback as much as I can. It helps me to see mistakes that I make in my own writing, but from a more distant perspective. I feel the effects of those hits and misses instead of just assuming that a particular attempt works.

Today I learned the importance of having a full story, one that isn't too thin. I guess this is where subplots and plot layers come in to give a story some heft, and also help to turn things in new directions. If everything hurtles toward the end in a straightforward path, there's nothing much to engage me.

So, I'll keep that in mind when I'm thinking that the plot I have is "enough."

Long Scenes

I knew this would happen, but I guess I was hoping it would magically be different once I began typing the screenplay.

My scenes are too long. I've thought each one over so carefully that they are all jam-packed with setups that I'll pay off later and foreshadowing and characterization and a little exposition sprinkled here and there. How do I cut all that out?

Do I write a two and a half hour script and then chop it up later? Do I figure out what can be dropped now? It might be a revision thing, but... I'm going to be letting people in my writing group read this. I cringe at handing them a script that long.

But we're showing each other our stuff in parts...I'm worried about things I shouldn't be right now, I know, but I should probably learn how to write concise scenes at the beginning so there's less of this. Because I'm going to need to cut many scenes later on just because I cut one line of dialogue here and there in these earlier scenes...they're jam-packed, I tell ya.

However, for right now, I'll just write and enjoy the ride. I can always worry when I'm about to hand my pages over.

Reacting to Others' Writing

...When what's written is one mere step above baby gibberish...

I don't know...Should I ignore it? Should I be helpful and comment? But then I know I wouldn't be able to keep the snark out of my feedback so I'd hesitate to say anything.

The best thing I know to do is to look the other way. Yet being in the same social sphere as the writer can be daunting. There will be times when simple communication becomes daunting because this message has been garbled and I don't know if I'm supposed to be insulted and angry or sympathetic and pitying.

I'm being random.

Antagonists

Sometimes it's difficult for me to remember to add strong opponents to my protagonist's goals. I just don't like 'villains' in the kinds of stories I'm writing right now. However, I know I need to remember that antagonists don't equal villains.

These characters are in conflict with the protagonist over the same goal; that has nothing to do with their moral alignment or personality. The antagonist can even be a hero in his or her own right.

I have to remember that.

National Poetry Month 2014

What to wear--what to wear?

I hope to write, write, write in April. I don't know...this will be kind of crazy. Will I really be writing a screenplay, a novel, and 30 poems? Sounds kind of ridiculous.

Oh, well. Away I go.

Writing by the Seat of My Pants

Starting April 1 (how appropriate!) I will be writing a story I was supposed to be developing all this month, but I've only managed to come up with an ending to. I'll be pantsing it.

That means this particular story will be an outline and rough draft in one, full of dead ends and scary surprises. Well, the scary surprises should be there, considering that it will be horror. Yet I think I'm mostly the one in for the unexpected frights. This might be one of my 'hot mess-don't let it see the light again' stories.

And I really liked the idea for this, too. Maybe I can adapt it as a screenplay later. Yeah, that's right. Convince yourself that this isn't a waste of time...

I've Made It To the Beginning

I've wrote the end of the screenplay. Yikes. That was extremely difficult. Which, I guess, was the point. I don't like writing the endings and usually give up or just write them halfheartedly.

Now I've got the beginning (and the rest of the story) ahead of me. Ugh. I might have to do this a bit differently next time. Maybe alternate scenes. One scene from the end, one scene from the beginning, then one scene from the middle. That seems way more complicated, but maybe much more rewarding.

I'm all about my comforts. Because this right here...this was punishing.

Gender Equality in Writing

When I think of gender equality in writing, I'm not thinking about sex politics. Or how many characters of each gender should be in a story. Or power dynamics relating to gender in a relationship. I'm simply referring to how I approach characters of a gender in my writing. Too often when I read stories or scripts, one group or another gets the short stick.

I don't like seeing agendas. Oh, this is feminist. This is rhetoric about transgender and on and on. I didn't come to your fictional piece to be preached at. Write an essay (or blog post) for that.

Having one group of people in a story be uniformly negative is usually a giveaway of a prejudice for me--whether sexist, racist, nationalist, ageist, or whatever. Just don't do it. Make each character an individual that stands by his or her own merits, not by the inclusion or exclusion of a group or social status.

You have a character who is a woman? Will she automatically be the one is hurt or rescued? The victim? Will she be the least developed character? Oh, I'm a guy--I don't know so much about girls so I'm not going to bother...blah, blah, blah.

I've seen the same thing with male characters. All the guys are all negative or barely developed. Hey, let's make all the men abusers! Psychopaths... Mindless killing machines who are driven by sex and money. Well, I know plenty of guys like that. This one time, this guy blah, blah, blah...

Yeesh.

What if you don't know you're doing this? Take a piece of current writing--any piece--and change every single character's gender identity. Do the character choices become strange now? Do you find some characters to be bland or weak now? Do you think some characters are detestable now?

Becoming aware of biases is a nice first step. Yet we'll all have this in our writing to some degree even if we are aware of it. It's just a matter of being in control of it and knowing how to subvert it and use it to maybe connect to people surprising ways.

Want to Write, But Got Stuff to Do

Do I stop what I'm doing and write, or do I go ahead and finish what I need to do? Well, in this instance I have to finish my to-do list. I thought today would be a push-through-and-write day, but I was wrong. I hate being wrong. It feels like the opposite of the delicious taste of chocolate.

I have to make some progress or I'll never get any momentum, though. Why can't I write in the mornings anymore? That sure would help me out.

Thinking More Than Writing

Sometimes I find myself having spent an entire day without writing a thing. Yet I don't really feel that it was time wasted. I have to work out these little kinks in certain scenes in my mind that niggle at me.

And if they don't have anything to do with the current scene I'm writing?

I just feel like those problems can cause problems all over the story. There have been plenty of times where I've found solutions somewhere else and that's led me to change what I'm about to write in a seemingly unrelated scene or sequence.

All the scenes further the same plot. The thing is to not get carried away or let 'thinking' be an excuse for not putting my pen to paper or my hands to the keyboard. Writing is a way to solve those issues and untie those kinks, too, along with actually getting the story completed. It's just that on some occasions I have to visualize the problem first.

Action Scenes

I don't really like action scenes. They feel so impersonal. I like the closer, more emotional stuff. Not melodrama. Just when people are revealing things without meaning to. I like writing those dynamics and having the characters negotiate and struggle to conceal what they really want while, at the same time, strive to get that want.

However, action scenes are so blunt. It's all about grabbing what you want. Wham. Bam. Got it. Not a lot of room for nuance. Yet I'm trying for subtlety anyway. The action is really about something else, so they can do all these activities so openly and baldly and it still mean something deeper down. Theme...blah, blah, blah. Symbolizes da da da dah.

How to Tell When a Scene Isn't Working

Back to my screenplay... I've begun writing the scenes. The first scene was pretty easy--suspiciously so. I even enjoyed it. Hmm...

I wrapped it up and prepared myself for the next one. All right, what's this scene about. Got it. Goal? Uh... No, you know this. Goal. Mmm. She wants her life to be better? Nuh uh. That's not a goal. What's she going after in this scene? Well, she's just going home. Oh...

But it's important because when she gets home and is thinking about stuff... Oh... But, wait. She comes across something that changes everything. That's when she decides her new goal. She's between goals, you see.

Yuh. No. I had to nix the scene. My character needs to be after something, needs to have purpose in every scene. I couldn't really visualize the scene because nothing was happening. The solution is to shorthand all this. The audience will know she got new goals by her actions, not by watching her clean up at home (is that really what she was going to do).

And that's why I ask these kinds of questions (along with ones about motivations, stakes, and conflict) before I start writing even one word of a scene. I would have wrote a meandering, wandering, boring mess here. Maybe later something might pop into my head, but for right now, the scene is D.O.A.

Writing the First Scene

I'm starting on the first scene of my screenplay--so scary. I'm starting with the resolution. Why, no one asked?

Because that's where all the fun starts dying down, but everyone insists on hanging around--like at an amusement park. You know, when all the big rides are closed and yet all the paying customers are still milling about, trying to milk every last penny out of the experience though it's clear no one can have any more fun? Yeah, that's how I feel about resolutions.

Let me write the most exciting scene of the story and then go straight to the 'clean-up' scenes. Why?

This is the reason I find myself giving up on story after story with only four or five scenes to go. For this script, I'm writing those awkward last scenes first. Haha! I'm getting the boringness out of the way, an then I'll only have to revise or edit the scenes, not write them whole cloth. I'll end on a high! Why haven't I tried this before?

We'll soon find out.

Character Descriptions

I've been wondering what to do about describing my characters' physical appearances. Because I'm totally uninterested in how they look. I know that it matters (but not to me) yet it will come off inconsistent or distracting if I just throw something down. I could make them look like silly messes for my amusement, or I could waste my time researching clothing that fit their personalities or whatever. Figuring out hairstyles. Wondering about eye shapes.

That all sounds ridiculous to me. Clothing might be a matter of expression. But physical appearance is kind of a nature thing, beyond how well you take care of yourself hygiene- and nutrition-wise.

I'll figure it all out, I suppose.